I abandoned the corporate world due largely in part to my inability to stifle my inner “perv” and conform to what society expects everyone to look like and everyone to act like.  Sure they say its ok…”we embrace cultural diversity; we value individuality and offer same sex health benefits; we offer flexible schedules.”  This is all VERY true, but what they don’t tell you is that it comes with a price.  The price is your silence.  And for me it was too high a price to pay.

So, I left. 

I was only just beginning to find my inner “perv” at this point (I call it my inner perv because it’s much easier and shorter than “my inner desire to live an open and alternative lifestyle).  But, I knew it was in me and for some reason (probably society’s constant mission to suppress my “perv”, I feel the need to stand on the roof tops and shout out loud…. Oh, I’m also wearing a corset and 8” heels; or a man’s suit; or nothing at all).  And people start to get uncomfortable. 

I can almost forgive society at large; at least forgive them for their ignorance…but I really cannot forgive the alternative community.  It’s really disheartening to repeatedly find that when people say that “kink is ok”, what they really mean is “my kink is ok” or “you kink is alright but just say in the basement.”  I’ve come across this all too many times in the last four years…some blatantly, some underhanded and some ignorantly…but it is all sad and frustrating. 

Last weekend, I found myself in this situation.  In a place inviting the alternative community to come together and learn and play. … as long as we didn’t draw attention to ourselves and as long as we fit into the neat little labels that this community has created and expects you to fit into.  Who cares if I am “obviously not a slave.”  I’m obviously not your fucking slave, so it doesn’t matter if I fit your dream or not. 

And so I found myself taking on this angry tone (ok I was pissed and acting out) over the weekend, stuck between expressing my disgust and frustration and not pissing off the hand that feeds.  So, those of you that know me know how that story ends and those of you that don’t should just pick the path of MOST resistance.   And let me remind you how incredibly hard it is to be honest (completely honest) and not burn any bridges….I’m not that good at it, mostly because the whole completely honest thing is very new to me.  So, I guess we just wait and see if I set any bridges on fire.  But, let me tell you, unlike the kick ass benefits, this was worth the price.

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